Robert's Mirror, Chapter 10, by J.M. Stevenson, www.jeannesbottle.com

Caitlin Ivanyo was pacing with throbbing feet as she waited for the city bus on the corner of Sample and Main Street. I studied her personal information listed on her Indiana driver's license that lay exposed in the most disorganized purse that I had ever viewed. A variety of interesting items were secured within the inexpensive vinyl. In addition to the unbreakable mirror, a child's yo-yo, a half eaten doughnut, a curler, and a roll of scotch tape were amongst the contents.

According to her driver's license, Caitlin was twenty six years old, five foot four inches, one hundred twenty five pounds with blue eyes. The blue eyes were debatable and I'd say they were closer to a deep gray. Caitlin had pulled me along with the miniature camping mirror to fix her hair before leaving the diner where she waited tables during the lunch shift.

I heard her mention to a coworker that she intended to quit her third job since she missed spending the extra time with her children. I felt enormous sympathy for the parent who was juggling three jobs in order to survive.

A loud bus finally approached. Diesel exhaust wafted in through the bag and suddenly Caitlin's overworked hand appeared scavenging through the bottom for the fifty five cent fare.

There was not much cash within the purse and the total amount she scrounged involved the use of ten pennies.

Through the crack in the bag I watched as Caitlin laid back in her seat, closing her eyes, allowing some much deserved rest if only for a few miles of travel. A second later, a woman approached, her eyes were too far apart on her face for her to be considered pretty, but she seemed to know how to fix herself up with makeup and flattering clothes. She was carrying several shopping bags with the emblems of the few existing downtown clothing shops.

"I thought that was you!" The woman said with a rush of enthusiasm tapping Caitlin on the shoulder.

"Hi." Caitlin managed, rubbing her gritty eyes.

"You remember me, right?"

Caitlin smiled politely, but it was obvious she hadn't a clue on who this character was.

"I believe we used to be in Mr. Critchlow's English literature class together."

"Sure." Caitlin whispered.

"I'm Dora, Dora Bentley....well Dora Smith now."

"How have you been doing?" Caitlin asked nodding.

"Okay.... I don't normally take the bus, but I had no choice since I was in a bit of an accident last week."
"Nothing serious I hope."

"Serious, heck no. I backed into the basketball hoop and scratched the rear fender pretty bad. Dave insisted I have the body work fixed immediately. He said he didn't want me driving an impaired Cadilac."

"Dave?" I asked.

"You remember Dave Smith right? The star basketball player since his sophomore year in high school, awarded MVP our senior year."

"Oh sure, I remember him." Caitlin muttered in a near whisper.

"Yep. We married after my second year in college. I'm a dental hygienist and when I was working in the college clinic, he came in for a twenty dollar cleaning."

"How sweet." Caitlin said.

"Yep. He had the best set of molars that I'd ever seen.... best molars among other things..." Dora said chuckling.

"What's Dave been up to?" Caitlin asked.

"He runs Duck Quick Oil Change, manages the four local stores here in town and he's doing quite well actually."

"How nice."

Dora gazed at Caitlin, then suddenly smirked. "I see you're still waiting tables."
Dora nodded. "I just finished the lunch shift at Flapjack Angels."

"I haven't been in that dive in a long time. Are the walls still soiled from all the years of cigarette smoke?"

"I imagine they are."

"Some things never change." Dora said as her eyes scanned Caitlin from head to toe, then back again.

"Any children?" Caitlin asked.

"Naw. Never had a hankering for the little urchins. You know I was raised an only child and got used to things a certain way. I could never see sharin' the limelight, well, you know how I am, right?"

"Sure." Caitlin said, gazing out the window as if hoping the bus was further along.

"And you? Any brats dragging you down?"

"I have two beautiful children, my youngest just turned two on the sixteenth and has mastered running instead of walking."

"Oh how dreadful! Kids that age are so demanding! When do you ever sleep in?"
"I don't sleep in, but I wouldn't want to." Caitlin whispered, her eyes reflecting surprise by this woman's audacity.

"Sure, sure." Dora said with a rude smirk then waved her hand in dismissal.

"I have pictures." Caitlin said rummaging through the junk piled in next to me.

"Oh, yes... here they are."

"This is Richie junior. He'll be five around Christmas... and this, this is my little Faith."

"If you don't mind me saying, they look nothin' alike. Faith has such white hair, a towhead... Richie, he could almost pass as a Hispanic."

Caitlin gently replaced the photographs, her expression reflected disappointment at Dora's rudeness.

"Of course!" Dora said snapping her fingers, as the entire bus of commuters gazed at her with interest. "Different fathers, right?"

Caitlin immediately stood and yanked on the long rope connected to the alarm chime.

"This is my stop." Caitlin announced, finding it difficult to maintain her composure. She then hurried to the front of the bus.

Dora piped in, her voice loud and crass. "I thought you lived several blocks from here...the street just before the old ball field, right? Isn't that your house with the torn up sofa on the front porch and that junk car that's been tireless now for six seasons?"

"I have errands today." Caitlin declared, hurrying through the door.

As the bus pulled away, Dora gazed at her former classmate as she waved from the window. There was an air of superiority in Dora's appearance, as if running into Caitlin made her feel better about the inadequacies of her own pitiful life.

"I never cared much for you in high school, I suppose that hasn't changed at all since graduation." Caitlin muttered under her breath as she hiked along.

Caitlin headed south on an adjoining street. The homes lining the east side changed in appearance as she made her way in an accelerated pace. Several dogs barked declaring their territory. A black Labrador rushed the street then began to wag its tail seeming to recognize Caitlin.

The further we headed south, the less the homes were cared for. Lawns in desperate need of mowing, litter cluttering the ground, homes with paint peeling around the trim. Caitlin paused at the gray sided house positioned at the belly of a turn around.

"Faith." Caitlin said taking notice of the toddler standing all alone on the front sidewalk. The girl was only wearing a diaper and her fine strands of blonde hair fluttered about in the breeze, reminding me of the down on a baby chick.

"Where's Pete and your brother?" She asked as she hurried to the girl and lifted her into an embrace.

Faith's hand fell into the purse and she pulled me, the mirror from within the confines. Immediately, the metallic camping mirror slid into her mouth. Drool slimed the corners and trickled down her tiny chin.

"Let's take you inside, shall we?" Caitlin managed.

Caitlin opened the screen door. The top portion of screen was missing completely and the bottom was shredded as if a large animal had clawed through the material.

The house was a wreck with beer cans smashed and thrown in all directions. There was a man laying on the sofa, a television remote was balanced in his unclasped hand. The screen was rolling, but the voices were clear from the oversized box with a coat hanger used for a makeshift antenna.

"Pete!" Caitlin announced with anger.

"Pete, come on..." She said kicking his feet with hers.

"Yeah, yeah, what ya want?"

"Faith was outside by herself." Caitlin snapped.

"Why that boy of yours! I told him to keep his sister out of trouble so that I could get some sleep! Darn that kid!" He said with grit to his tone.

"Richie is not supposed to be watching Faith. He's only five for cryin' out loud! It's your responsibility. Did you feed her today? I notice her diaper's full."

"I don't know what ya expect from me Kate! I ain't no mama. Ya knew that when I agreed to move in with ya." The man said swinging to sit upright. His entire body began to sway and he fell back into the position of slumber.

"You promised me you wouldn't drink while watching my kids."

Pete chuckled in a show of outrage. "There ain't much else to do around here during the day. What'd ya expect me to do? Sit around playin' games with yer little ankle biters?"

"Maybe you should pack up and go." Caitlin said as the man eyed her with surprise.

"Pack up and go?" He laughed. "Just who and the heck r' ya gonna get to sit here with them. You and I both know ya ain't got no one else."

Caitlin brushed her lips to Faith's head. I could sense an inner turmoil, a struggle she felt from the truth in Pete's statement.

"Besides..." Pete added, pulling himself up, placing his arm around Caitlin. Caitlin began breathing through her mouth since he reeked something awful from the mixture of body odor and alcohol. "who ya got to curl up with at the end of a hard day? Ya need me baby, just like I needs you."

Pete brushed his lips to Caitlin and she nodded in a sad way. She carried the baby from the room and into the kitchen which was no bigger than a snuff box. It didn't help that the cabinets and table were overflowing with food splattered dishes.

Caitlin plopped the child into a high chair and clicked the strap closed. Caitlin's eyes swung out the back window as a hunting dog trotted along a path that disappeared within the corn field. The large stalks of farm spread for several miles.

"I bet your brother is off in the field...he knows better!" Caitlin mentioned as Faith continued to gum the mirror.

Caitlin busied herself to clean up the kitchen and it was mid afternoon before she was able to begin making dinner. In between, Pete remained a blob on the sofa asking Caitlin to wait on him hand and foot. I could only imagine how exhausted Caitlin was, how in desperate need she was of someone to give her a bit of a break, a bit of help.

A simple dinner of spaghetti was placed on the miniature table as a young boy hurried through the corn field and to the back door. He flew into the house and attempted to dart past Caitlin.

"Just a minute." Caitlin said in a tone with bite to it.

"What were you doing in that corn field?"

"It was okay, I had my compass that my daddy gave me. I knew I could find my way." The boy said gazing at his mother with defiance.

"The rule is you are not to go out there...it's too dangerous! You could get lost and turned around. The corn is so high you can't see anything....besides we have no idea what chemicals they spray on that stuff. It can't be healthy to go traipsing around out there."

"Oh mom." The boy said whining.

"I came home and found Faith standing on the front sidewalk all by herself. She could've wandered into the street or run off." Caitlin said.

"You and Pete always want me to watch her. She's not my baby! I should be able to go and play with the other kids, not be stuck home watchin' the drool monster."

"I can't help it I have to work. This is a team and I need your help, okay?"

The boy nodded, but his face was lined with resentment.

"I have to leave in a little bit for the evening shift at the Pizza Palace."

"Oh mom, can't you call in sick tonight?" The boy asked.

"We need the money Richie. Someone has to put groceries on the table and pay the bills."

"Why doesn't Pete get a job?" The boy questioned.

"You know Pete hurt his back and is on disability."

The boy rolled his eyes then nodded, as he scampered away to clean himself up for dinner.

I was left within the grip of Faith as Caitlin hurried about to prepare herself for the night shift. The children sat on the living room sofa and watched as their mother rushed through the door. The moment she was outside, she doubled back. Her painted lips left twin marks on the children's foreheads, an imprint of her farewell for the day.

"No later than nine o'clock Pete." She said gazing at the inebriated man perched in the tattered lazy-boy sipping his seventeenth Miller Beer.

"Sure babe, whatever ya say." Pete said waving his hand.

Caitlin's expression reflected concern as she disappeared out the door.

At ten minutes until eleven, Pete awoke from his position on the recliner. He gazed at Faith sprawled on the sofa who had long ago fallen asleep.

"Richie?" He questioned peering around with suspicion.

"Yeah?" Richie said from the floor, his gaze fixed on the television which was playing a violent cop show.

"Bed, now! Yer ma will be home in about a half hour. She'll tan my hide if she learns you were up later than she wanted."

"As if I care." Richie snapped.

"Don't get smart with me ya brat! I don't have to put up with yer stuff like yer ma does. She coddles ya, she does...but I won't. Now move it!"

Richie stood at the edge of the sofa and lifted his little sister in a strained heave. A moment later, he was struggling to carry her down the hall and into the bedroom they shared. I remained within her clutches, so I noticed how she had not been changed since before Caitlin left for the Pizza Palace.

At sun up, Caitlin appeared wearing yet another waitress uniform. She stood in the bedroom a moment watching her children sleep. She then proceeded to change Faith's diaper without disturbing the child. I watched with interest as Caitlin picked up a path of toys replacing them onto shelves along the far wall of the room.

There was a certain amount of sadness in the mother's gaze. It was as if she was wondering if this was all there was for life to offer.

With consideration, Caitlin placed two sets of clean clothes on a wooden bench. She lifted Faith's shirt and inhaled the fragrance that was uniquely Faith.

Caitlin appeared sad as she hurried away. Her shoes clicked along the sidewalk as she trotted off to catch the bus to her morning job of serving breakfast.

Faith began to wail not long after Caitlin had gone. "Mommy!" The tot screamed. "Ma-ma!" Her gaze remained fixed on the door, but her mother never appeared.

The wail shifted to hysteria as Richie shuffled to his sister's bed and lifted her out. Her eyes caught site of the mirror and she pinched her tiny fingers around, just in the nick of time. Even though the boy had complained to his mom the day before about helping with the drool monster, it was obvious he was a good brother. He smiled at his little sister, brushing her soft cheek with his lips.

"Mom's at work." Richie explained.

"Hum-bry." The girl shouted placing the mirror to her lips.

"Okay. Let's go to the kitchen and I'll get you some cereal."

The boy could not lift Faith straight into the high chair, so he removed the tray and strained to slide her into place. She nearly toppled at one point, but he was quick enough to reposition her before she slid out.

After the tray was replaced, Faith began slamming the mirror onto her tray.

"KNOCK it off!" Richie demanded.

Bang, bang, bang.

"Come on Faith! You don't want to awaken the sleeping bear." The boy said gazing about, eyes wide with fear.

Bang, bang, bang. Faith hit the mirror over and over again.

"Please." Richie said as the girl fell silent.

It wasn't so much that he had asked her, the fact was, he had filled her tray with cereal and the girl was now busy lifting the tiny morsels to her face.

A moment later, the boy hurried to the refrigerator and pulled an enclosed cup of milk. He placed it in front of her and she latched onto it guzzling in fast, greedy swallows.

"Mo-" She said a millisecond later swinging the empty cup.

Richie had just sat down with a bowl of cereal of his own and he gazed at his sister with despair. "Oh come on... let me eat too!"

"Mo!" She sputtered again.

"Oh for crying out loud." The boy complained as he hurried to the refrigerator and pulled a half gallon of whole milk.

With only spilling a minimal amount, he refilled his sister's cup. She grinned at him, then continued to drink.

"You're welcome!" Richie said as he sat down at the table.

After breakfast, Richie pulled his sister from the high chair and headed to the living room. He left the carton of milk on the table and a trail of mini-doughnut like cereal along his path.

I remained Faith's choice tool for teething as she followed her brother back to their room. Richie removed his pajama's then dressed at remarkable speed.

He had just removed Faith's nightshirt to clothe her for the day when there was a persistent tap at the front door. Leaving the toddler in nothing but her diaper, he hurried off.

A moment later, Faith and I slowly waddled to the front door where three boys stood speaking to Richie.

"Sorry squirt! Tony's dog took off again in the corn field. They need my help to find him. I'll awaken Pete to look after you."

The girl nodded as if understanding him completely. We trailed along as Richie knocked on the closed bedroom door.

"This'd better be important." Pete grumbled from the opposite side.

"Tony's dog ran off, we're going to see if we can find him. You need to get up to watch Faith."

There was a prolonged silence from the opposite side of the doorway. Richie began to knock again. "Pete! Please get up, the guys are waiting for me."

"Come on!" Whined a boy who was waiting just outside the front door.

Richie gazed at the boys then his attention fell back to the bedroom door.

"Well, I'm leaving to help them Pete." Richie said in a loud tone.

As Richie exited the front door, his eyes briefly scanned his sister who was posed with a curious expression in the hallway.

"Stay in the house and wait for Pete." Richie said with a guilty expression lining his mouth.

"Come on!" Someone yelled as their voices mixed in with footsteps trailing away. The front door closed with a solid slam.

Faith toddled to the kitchen grabbing cereal off the floor and stuffed it into her mouth. She then proceeded to the window where she observed the boys entering the cornfield.

"Ree-ree." She said gazing out at the stalks moving in unison as the kids were gobbled up within the thick vegetation.

Faith pulled her cup from the table and we headed towards the front door. It took some doing on her part, but she managed to turn the door knob enough to open the interior door. In the process, I was dropped to the carpet.

"Hey! FAITH!!" I screamed. "Down here."

Just before she headed outside through the dilapidated screen, she gazed down at her gum toy of choice. A slight grin appeared on her face as she squatted and lifted me back into her clutches.

"PETE!" I began screaming as we headed through the door.

Alleviating a bit of my concern, Faith heaved us upon an old sofa located on the front porch. It was missing a back leg and scraps of two by four were wedged at the base, keeping it level. Holding me in one hand, she sat for a bit gazing at the interesting world around her. Insects buzzed past and the girl imitated the sound surprisingly well.

A moment later Faith was up and on the move once again. She paused at the dried up mud puddle, poking her finger at the clay upper layer that had peeled and cracked in a diamond shaped pattern.

Just then, a dog began barking from the yard behind. The girl stepped to the side of the puddle, her gaze fixed to the distance. Faith was off and running now, running in the direction of the corn field. With two steps remaining until we entered, she called out, "Ree-ree!"

"Ree-ree, come homb."

Faith stood at attention trying to hear if her brother was anywhere close.

"Oh Ree-ree." She said darting into the thick forest of corn stalks.

"NO!" I screamed at the girl.

"You need to go home Faith... HOME, now! Your brother will return after a bit. Please, you've got to listen."

As Faith moved her way further into the field, the girl nearly toppled. In a swift movement, Faith extended her hand knocking me to the moist earth. The toddler caught her balance, but left me behind in the process.

"Ree-ree." She called in the sweetest of voices tearing off at a fast pace.

"HEY Faith!" I screamed frantic with worry. "You've dropped me."

The girl either could not hear me or was too far away to notice. In an instant her delicate hair was out of view and I was out of my mind with fear.